put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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