sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Dude, where are you?
... whose car?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night