just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize