i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
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The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
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He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.