am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
the raccoons are back...
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