She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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