there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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