I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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