i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
