You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
