quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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