I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
