It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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