Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
