I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
