Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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