so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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