we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom