As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
