you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize