It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
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and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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