Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Green mimosas i think yes
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps