considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us