Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
