Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You pole danced in your parka.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
