No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
