Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
