this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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