didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
