So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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