Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I touched a dick in church today
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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