are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
