i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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