Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
