oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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