So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
