I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
