I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
