Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
