I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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