yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Randomize
