I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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