Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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