He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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