Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
