Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize