did you get engaged???
I want to walk on stilts...naked
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
