Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
