I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
cat food counts as protein by the way
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
