careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.