who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
