Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
