The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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