talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
