I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
