Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize