I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm like, not good at living.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
