if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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