After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
