I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
