god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
